It's all Peter Mayle's fault!

Tish: You have all the sheet!

Me: That's not true ...

Tish: It is true! You do it every night. When you turn, you take it all with you. You did it last night. It's like being in bed with an elephant!

Me: I don't, and I didn’t. I don't need to. It's in the bloody seventies in here!

Tish: No, it's not. It wasn't even twenty during the day.

Me: Well, it’s at least sixty-five!

Tish: I think I need the duvet. It was too early to take it off.

Me: I didn’t take it off!

Tish:: I never said you did. Could you go and get it? I think it’s
in the trunk on the landing.

Me:: I don’t believe this. If I give you all the sheet, will that do?

Tish:: No, it won’t. I’m cold!

Me: How can you be cold? You were melting the other day.

Tish: ………………………

Me: Okay, I’ll get it. I’ll go and get the duvet I never took off
and don’t need myself because someone I know is cold
in the furnace …

Tish: It’s all Peter Mayle’s fault!

Me: What is?

Tish: Well, didn’t he say the South of France was a cold country with lots of sunshine?

Me: What if he did?

Tish: Well, it’s his fault then.